As I have said in the past, I am one lucky lady to be included in an awesome organization that supports and loves adoption called Red Thread Sessions. I first found out about this organization through friends who had already adopted. I longed to be a part of it in the past, but really felt led to invest into my family while my kids were not yet in school. Now that they are, I have been able to be selected as one of Minneapolis’s reps who give their time and talent to bless those families who have already walked the road.
Many of my friends have set out in the journey of adoption, and while we as a family, have not directly adopted, we have been included on the rides. This is a HUGE blessing not only to both pray for these couples and children, but to walk along side them encouraging them along the way.
This sweet family was introduced to me by another client of mine and I was able to photograph their sweet family this past year. I asked Liz to share a few things about her story and their process. The following words are her’s and I hope this blesses your Monday!
How did you know adoption was for you?
From childhood, I (Liz) pictured myself adopting children. It was always something I hoped would be part of building a family. We talked about it before we got married and both thought adoption would be something we would like to pursue.
How were you introduced to adoption?
We both had friends and family growing up who were adopted.
Tell us about your adoption journey.
When we were ready to start a family, Liz wanted to adopt first, but the financial aspect was a little daunting. We decided to see what happened and if we weren’t expecting after one year, we would start the adoption process. After a number of months, we decided that we wanted to start the process and not wait. We adopted Henry in 2008 and Walter in 2010, both born in S Korea. We talked about adopting an older child through the foster care system when the boys were older but in the fall of 2014 we heard about a birth family wanting to be matched with an adoptive family. We prayed about it and decided to moved forward. Winston was born in May and brought so much joy to our family. The boys can’t get enough of him. In February this year we were asked if we would like to adopt Winston’s biological sibling due in July! A huge surprise! Since we had just finished Winston’s adoption we weren’t sure how we would be able to come up with what we needed for the fees. Our parents encouraged us not to let money be the reason we said, ‘No.” We prayed about it and gave the finances to God, knowing He could provide. He met each need we had and provided so many friends, family and strangers to help down cover our adoption fees! In July we drove down south to wait for Ruthie to arrive. She was born in early July and was welcomed home by 3 enthusaistic brothers!
How has adoption changed you?
Oh man. I think parenting has changed us! 🙂 Adoption has made us different parents than we would have been I think. We have friends in our lives who I can’t imagine not knowing. Our dinner menus have changed – what did we do before Korean meals?!?! Of course we have 4 beautiful children. I think adoption has also made being truthful and open with our kids essential. It could be easy to lie and say I don’t know what happened to the artwork from school instead of telling them I threw it away…but if I can’t be honest about the little things in life, how can they trust that I have and will be honest with them about their personal histories or with the big things that will happen. I think it’s made us more sensitive and thoughtful in what others may be dealing with – the loss of first families and children – and how that affects them.
What is the most rewarding aspect of adoption?
Getting to raise and love our children! Watching them grow and become their own people.:) Seeing their pride in where they come from and building relationships with their first families…praying that we can do the same for the birth families we haven’t met yet. It’s rewarding to see how much we’ve grown and changed as individuals and as a family.
What do you wish people knew about adoption?
Adoption is full of love, loss, grief, joy, struggles and challenges, and growth. It’s a gift to be able to love our kids and raise them. Each situation is different, but I think parents really need to be prepared to parent differently than how they were raised, or how they see others parenting. You need to be ready to ask for help and follow through suggestions for your family’s benefit. I am so grateful that God built our family through adoption – it’s hard to believe He saw us worthy of it!
What are some myths about adoption that you wish you could dispel?
That kids who were adopted are more likely to be troubled. Every child will have his/her own struggles and challenges, whether they were adopted or not but recognizing that adoptees may face some challenges unique to adoptees – that doesn’t make them more troubled.
What are some of the greatest resources you have used in the adoption process?
Our relationships with Christ, prayer…lots of praying family and friends. We used adopttogether.org to help fundraise for our last 2 adoptions. Adoptive Families Magazine is full of information. We love Heather Forbes’ books, classes and website – lots of help with parenting in a way that is so much more beneficial. Connected Families – more great parenting help.
Back when my kids were small, I remember scheduling an in studio session for my toddler and 3 moth old. Getting the kids fed, hair looking cute, outfits on and out the door on time, was such an undertaking. The driving to the studio (which of course opened during my 3 month old’s first nap) and then having to wait in the mall for the studio to open was almost more than I could bear. Once in the studio, I remember working with a photographer who had 30 minutes to get both my girls to smile, and stay in one place together. (And as most of you who have kids know, this is not an easy task for a toddler in the middle of winter and a three month old who needs a nap!)
